If you ever have to ship your quilt, put the destination and return
information on the INSIDE of the sturdy cardboard box too. Ship only by UPS
directly (not a place that offers UPS service) and you'll pay less and find
it is far easier to file a claim with UPS that way if anything should happen.
I've had to file claims with both the USPS and UPS for lost/damaged
merchandise and it is far easier to deal with UPS.
PUPPY ON THE WAY
We've decided to join the puppy raiser program of the Leader Dogs for the
Blind. It's something I've always wanted to do. With help from my most
capable and responsible daughter, Jennie (sweet sixteen on the 16th), we
have signed up for either a golden retriever or a Labrador retriever. We will
get our puppy from Leader Dogs in June, and train it for approximately one
year. At the end of that time, we will return it to Leader Dogs and there it
will attend special school in order to learn all it needs to know about
guiding a blind person wherever they want to go. We figure it will be a lot
like having a four-legged foreign exchange student who acts like a newborn,
but with sharper teeth. We understand that just about the time the dog starts
behaving, and we've formed an incredibly loving bond, we'll have to give it
back. (This is probably how they hook you for the next puppy.)
We attended our first Puppy Raisers Meeting at Leader Dogs for the Blind in
Rochester, Michigan about a month ago. This was our first hurdle. We know
Jen's allergic to cats and we wanted to know if her poor nose would blow off
with a dog around the house. Surprisingly, we met about 35 dogs all at once
and she survived. Not a single sniffle. I have to tell you it was most
impressive. That many dogs in one room and only one barked. They ranged in
age from fur ball with paws to small horse, and with the exception of the
lone barker, they were extremely well-behaved. Next we filled out some papers
and then came word that we were accepted in the program.
I would like to ask for your help. We don't know much about dogs. Steve grew
up with dogs, but they were mostly outside dogs, not inside dogs. I grew up
with a succession of cats starting with an alley cat named Baby George Mow.
She was a girl cat who followed me everywhere until I made her a Halloween
costume and forced her to go trick-or-treating with me in a baby carriage.
She ran away never to return. Her various progeny survived, and were
supplemented with other feline additions to the family over the years, all of
whom were mentally unstable and admittedly tortured as I insisted on
dressing them in doll clothes. When I learned to sew it was only to make
outfits for the cats. One Siamese was forced to don a Superman outfit,
complete with cape, hat, and tail cozy. While he wasn't able to leap tall
buildings, he did get to the top of the bookcase where he chewed off my
handiwork.
We also had Farfel, the cocker spaniel. That was a disaster. She was really a
bladder with legs. Each and every time anyone entered the house she would get
over-excited. Her tail would wag so quickly it must have short-circuited some
inner plug somewhere and she would leak terribly. Thank goodness the back
door opened into the laundry room which had a vinyl floor.
Jennie has only had gerbils, which are very hard to sew for. Oscar and
Tinkerbell (both female, don't ask) were very intelligent, except for the
time Tinkie crawled in one of those cardboard toilet paper tubes and got
stuck---nose and whiskers emerging from one end, tail from the other. She
looked like she was wearing a cardboard girdle. (We just peeled it off of
her.) Oscar actually knew her name and would jump into Jen's hand. After they
passed into the great gerbil beyond, we welcomed Pyramus and Thisbe into the
fish tank. They are not quite as bright as their predecessors as they spend
most of their time trying to dig through the glass and escape.
So, we need dog advice, and especially a good name. We don't know if it will
be a girl dog or a boy dog, so we're open to any and all suggestions,
remembering that the dog's future owner will be using the dog's name in
public. We've been given very specific instructions for training the dog but
would especially like to hear from others who might have trained guide dogs
before. If you'd like to learn more about Leader Dogs, check out their web
site:
http://www.leaderdog.org/
THE ONE WHO DIES WITH THE MOST FABRIC WINS
Thankfully, it hasn't come to that yet. But I have come to the conclusion
that I must thin out my stash none-the-less. I opened the cupboard doors the
other day to retrieve some yellow and the entire stack of fabric came
crashing down on my head. Actually, since I was looking up at the time, it
landed on my nose. I knew I was in trouble when I could see over the tops of
my glasses. The part that normally rests at my eyebrows was now down around
my lips. Thank goodness I can breath through my mouth, as the nose pads were
now wedged so tightly around my nostrils that any passage of air into my
lungs from that source was impossible. I had to have help prying them off my
face!
The nice people at Delta Vision didn't bat an eye, having seen far worse from
me in the past. Last time I required their services I had climbed in the back
seat of the van attempting to adjust the angle of the seat back. I pull the
little lever on the almost-fully-reclined seat back, the side of my head just
inches from the head rest. It flipped into a very upright position, smacking
me in the temple and sending my glasses all the way up to the dash board. I
had to drive holding them up to my face in a one-handed salute to all the
other drivers I encountered on the way.
I've decided to get rid of the hand dyed fabrics because I have way too many
of those. For a while there I was dying 50 yard bolts! I was a mad woman. I
went through the stash and cut off 1/2 yard pieces of just about everything.
If you're interested, click HERE to see
my eBay auctions or enter through my web page.
FREE QUILT LABEL & FREE TRANSFER PAPER
The summer specials from Mallery
Press might be over, but check out the Photos-To-Fabric transfer paper at
your local quilt shop or on our web page. The popular 6-pack now has a FREE
quilt label inside and you'll be getting 2 free pages of transfer paper with
every Super Value Pack. Also, if you order through my web site you can get $5
off your next order if you help us advertise your copy shop.
NEW BOOK FROM MARSHA McCLOSKEY
Marsha is about to release her latest book, Quilts for Katie Rose, inspired
by her first granddaughter. Marsha used 1930s reproduction prints to make way
too many things for the nursery. There are fourteen pretty and light hearted
quilts and projects. Quilt Patterns include a pieced Butterfly, Sailboat,
House, Stars and Pinwheels, Pinwheel Daisy, Baby Blocks, Sunshine and Shadow
and more. This book is 56 pages, 8 1/2" x 11" format and will retail for
$15.95. For more information contact Marsha at Feathered Star Productions.
HOPPING TO IT
Contributed to Reader's Digest (August 1999) by Patsy Payne....
"My brother's friend T.R. violated one of the rules of lawn-mower safety when
he knelt down behind his power mower and pushed it out of sight underneath an
overgrown bush. The blade scooped up something and hurled it backward,
striking T.R. in the forehead and snapping his head back. He gingerly touched
his face to determine how badly he'd been hurt, and found a huge bump with a
horrible rough texture, but to his amazement, no blood or pain.
Fearing he would faint, T.R. sat down. Then he touched his forehead again and
noticed a webbed foot---belonging to a dazed frog!"
RUNNER UP-1999 DARWIN AWARDS
(thanks to SMuchinsky)
The Darwin Awards; these awards are given annually (and posthumously) to
those individuals who did the most for the human gene pool by removing
themselves from it. This fellow was a runner up.
"A Vermont native, Ronald Demuth, found himself in a difficult position
yesterday. While touring the Eagle's Rock African Safari (Zoo) with a group
of thespians from St. Petersburg, Russia, Mr. Demuth went overboard to show
them one of America's many marvels. He demonstrated the effectiveness of
"Crazy Glue"... the hard way. Apparently, Mr. Demuth wanted to demonstrate
just how good the adhesive was, so he put about 3 ounces of the adhesive in
the palms of his hands, and jokingly placed them on the buttocks of a passing
rhino. The rhino, a resident of the zoo for the past thirteen years, was not
initially startled as it has been part of the petting exhibit since its
arrival as a baby. However, once it became aware of its being involuntarily
stuck to Mr. Demuth, it began to panic and ran around the petting area wildly
making Mr. Demuth an unintended passenger.
"Sally [the rhino] hasn't been feeling well lately. She had been very
constipated. We had just given her a laxative and some depressants to relax
her bowels, when Mr. Demuth played his juvenile prank," said James Douglass,
caretaker. During Sally's tirade two fences were destroyed, a shed wall was
gored, and a number of small animals escaped. Also, during the stampede,
three pygmy goats and one duck were stomped to death. As for Demuth, it took
a team of medics and zoo caretakers' to remove his hands from her buttocks.
First, the animal had to be captured and calmed down. However, during this
process the laxatives began to take hold and Mr. Demuth was showered with
over 30 gallons of rhino diarrhea. "It was tricky. We had to calm her down,
while at the same time shield our faces from being pelted with rhino dung.
Once she was under control, we had three people with shovels working to keep
an air passage open for Mr. Demuth. We were able to tranquilize her and apply
a solvent to remove his hands from her rear," said Douglass. "I don't think
he'll be playing with Crazy Glue for a while."
Stay away from the Crazy Glue and have a great quilting day,
Ami Simms
http://quilt.com/amisimms
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