Ami's AfterChat NewsletterNovember 1997Please Note: This newsletter was originally sent on November 15, 1997. It may not have improved with age. Information may be outdated and irrelevant, not to mention useless. It is here only for your enjoyment.
WELCOME As always, everyone is invited to my next 4th Thursday chat in the AOL Chat Room which will be January 22, 1998 at 9 pm EST. Sadly, only those of you on AOL will be able to get there, but you're all invited anyway. If you can't come, just click your left mouse button three times at the appointed hour and I will receive whatever telepathic message you wish to send me. If you were wondering why my once-a-month chat isn't happening until January, well that's because Thanksgiving AND Christmas both fall on the 4th Thursday. I may pop in the chat room on those days, but I won't be official.
CHANGES/SUBSTITUTIONS
HOUSTON UPDATE (Be advised however, that your generous comments about the newsletter will only encourage me to write more.)
BIG HAIR This was one new-fangled machine. It had it's own fuse built right into the plug, right above the skull and crossbones that warned me not to plug it in within fifteen feet of a water source. Safety always a first in my book, I took it out to the front hall, stood by the stairs, and attempted to style my hair using the mirrored bi-fold doors that conceal our coat closet. They've never closed properly, so instead of floor-to-almost-ceiling me, all I was able to see was a quarter of my head at any one time. Evidently that was all I needed. Piece of cake! A flick of the switch was all it took to send gale force winds heated to scalp-blistering temperatures whooshing through something that looks like a cross between a loaf of French bread and a porcupine. In no time flat, my hair went from dripping to damp. I'm glad it only required one-handed operation as I was more than a little frightened to let go of the stair railing lest I be blown right out the front door. Once damp, I clicked off , uncoupled the brush attachment and snapped on the curling iron. Following the illustrated directions on the back of the package, I put on a low-cut V-neck pink sweater, troweled on some make-up, and took up the same pose as my big-haired heroine pictured on the cardboard. I smiled seductively at myself in the mirror. There we were, she and I, Frick and Frack. We carefully grasped small amounts of hair and rolled ever downwards towards our scalps. She had about 4 feet more hair than I did, but no matter, I was on a roll. The long metal tube snug against my head, I flicked the switch again and felt the power of 900 watts, a couple of amps, and maybe an ohm or two shooting super-heated air through the curling iron attachment. The blast of hot air blew half my wisp out of the clutches of the iron and I had to re-roll and try again. Careful not to rest the hot metal on the top of my ear during the baking process, I listened for the "ding" announcing that my curl was sufficiently cooked. It never came. I decided to un-clamp several seconds before my locks ignited. Repeating the process half a dozen more times on each side of my head, my scalp was now covered in huge orange juice can size curls. I shook it. I bounced it. I swooshed my head from side to side. The curls remained, round and firm. Thank goodness I had gone easy on the moose. Even after I brushed everything into place my hair was still as big as a satellite dish. I can't tell you how delighted I am. What a machine! I look so incredibly different. You'd never know it was me. Obviously, I am now just a shadow of my former self, my big hair not allowing much light to penetrate below to illuminate my face. I am a changed woman. No more pin-head hairstyles for me. I have BIG hair and all the power and allure that goes with it. I am woman; hear me blow dry.
TEACHING STUFF
If you'd like to attend a workshop or lecture in 1998 or beyond, check out
my web page for a list of the places where I'll be teaching.
ORVUS UPDATE
Mr. Brian McRedmond
PEOPLE HELPING PEOPLE I called the Pennsylvania State police with the description and license plate number of the car she was driving which I got from the rental car company. The state police couldn't help because they didn't have the personnel to search for her. Then I got on the net. There were about a bazillion motels and guest houses in Lancaster county. Calls to quilt shops followed, but this was the proverbial needle in a haystack. She could be anywhere. In desperation, I got back on the net and pulled names from AOL's member profiles using the words "quilt" and "PA." Just over 250 e-mails went out with Robin's description on Saturday and a plea for quilters in the area to keep an eye out for her and to call any quilt shops, bed & breakfasts, motels, or "quilty" tourist attractions in their area to see if she might be there. I faxed Lancaster area television and radio stations and contacted the Lancaster newspaper who promised to write something for the Sunday edition. The original e-mail was forwarded to several on-line quilting lists. I have no idea how many people were eventually contacted. It wouldn't surprise me if many of you reading this now had received a copy of the e-mail. All week-end I received messages back from the mailing. Over a hundred responses came back with prayers, words of encouragement, and suggestions. Quilters called quilt shops and hotels, told their families, and forwarded the messages on. One quilter contacted security at Hershey's chocolate factory and alerted them to look for Robyn. (Robyn is a big chocolate fan!) Another e-mailed every on-line quilt shop in the whole state. I couldn't believe the outpouring of concern for someone they had never met. On Monday morning I got a phone call from a woman who was the night clerk at the Best Western in Lancaster. Her mother had told her that I was looking for Robyn. She remembered Robyn and that she had checked out Saturday morning. She was looking for a bed & breakfast and this woman had recommended an establishment down the road. She called there and confirmed that Robyn was indeed a guest, gave me the phone number and I was able to tell Robyn about her mother. It couldn't have happened without the generosity and kindness of complete strangers willing to help in a time of need. To all of you on this mailing list who helped, thank you! And to EVERYONE on this list, the next time you pick up a newspaper or listen to a radio or television broadcast and you think the world is going right down the tubes, know that it ain't necessarily so. There is a great deal of goodness in the world; it just doesn't always make the headlines. We often think that situations are hopeless. We figure that there's not much a single person can do. Well, let me tell you, in this case Robyn would only have learned of her mother's passing when she returned home after the funeral if it weren't for some pretty terrific people in Pennsylvania. They may have thought that a single voice may not make a difference, but they helped anyway. Joined with other voices they created a veritable symphony of hope. Don't be afraid to SING OUT! Robyn drove to Washington DC on Tuesday, and got a flight back home on Wednesday. If I remember correctly, the flight is almost 24 hours with stops in Los Angeles and Tokyo. The road ahead is not going to be an easy one for her. Robyn isn't on-line, but if you'd like to e-mail a message to her, I will print it and send it along to her. Just put ROBYN in the subject line and my e-mail address in the TO: box (amisimms@aol.com) and I will make sure she gets it.
FREE UPGRADE
INTERESTING WEB SITE http://www.lhj.com/scgi/registration/register.cgi?FNC=3DSites__Asites_html___2 You have to fill out a questionnaire and leave your snail mail address, but hey, I like junk mail, don't you? (There is a place on the form, which I forgot to fill out that will keep that stuff out of both your snail mail box and your e-mail box.) So far I've gotten a couple of chicken recipe and one for chili that I almost tried until I got to the end of the ingredients list and found RAISINS! Yech!! But what do I know! The BlueBonnet guild served up a wonderful pot luck for my workshop and one of the dishes was chili with LIMA BEANS. It was delicious!
LITTLE KNOWN FACTS FROM MY UNCLE BUD I remember one Saturday I helped him with inventory. The plumbing shop was closed, but the phone rang all day anyway. We took turns pretending to be an answering machine! We'd pick up the phone and in a nasal "operator" voice and say, "This is a recording. Consumers Plumbing & Hardware is closed today." Strange as it sounds quite a few people kept on talking anyway. We'd just answer their question in the same monotone and remind them at the end that "This is a recording. Good-bye!" (Guess you had to be there.) Anyway, you can thank my Uncle Bud for the following. On second thought, don't. It will just encourage him. *Camel's milk does not curdle. *The combination OUGH can be pronounced in nine different ways. The following sentence contains them all: A rough-coated, dough-faced, thoughtful ploughman strode through the streets of Scarborough; after falling into a slough, he coughed and hiccoughed. *The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable. *Emus and kangaroos cannot walk backwards, and are on the Australian coat of arms for that reason. *Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds, while dogs only have about ten. *Murphy's Oil Soap is the chemical most commonly used to clean elephants. *Blueberry Jelly Bellies were created especially for Ronald Reagan. *All porcupines float in water. *Lorne Greene had one of his nipples bitten off by an alligator while he was host of "Lorne Greene's Wild Kingdom". *Cat's urine glows under a blacklight. *Non-dairy creamer is flammable. *The airplane Buddy Holly died in was the "American Pie". (Thus the name of the Don McLean song.) *When opossums are playing 'possum, they are not playing. They actually pass out from sheer terror. *The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year because when it was built, engineers failed to take into account the weight of all the books that would occupy the building.
ANOTHER FUNNY A 92 year-old man went to the Doctor to get a physical. A few days later the Dr. saw the man walking down the street with a gorgeous young lady on his arm. A couple of days later the Dr. talked to the man and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?" The man replied, "Just doing what you said Doctor, 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful." The Doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said, 'You got a heart murmur. Be careful!'"
UNTIL NEXT TIME
Happy quilting,
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