Ami's AfterChat Newsletter

May 1999

WELCOME
I'm glad you're reading this. You are among a select few of my very closest friends, now hovering around the 4,000 mark. I would like it if all of you would switch to AOL and join me for this month's chat on May 27. That's our usual 4th Thursday evening romp (9-10 pm EST) in the chat room (keyword: quilters, then follow the prompts). There are actually two chats going on at the same time. I'm in the "professional" chat area with the stage. (That's me on the top of your screen.) And there is another chat in the "regular" chat room without me. We do protocol (raise your hand, ask questions) and they just type at each other. Last month we answered all the questions and crashed the other chat room. Everyone who can get on AOL is welcome. Come on by....

MAILING PROGRAM STILL BUGGY
I apologize for apologizing. (I'm getting really tired of this, too!) Again I hang my head in shame after learning that all those email addresses I deleted after last month's newsletter are still living in my database. Little message boxes appeared on my screen telling me that the deletions were made, but it just ain't so!

Evidently PowerMail has never run into anyone with such a large address book as I. While version 8 is able to juggle, sort, and spit out my entire newsletter list, there is apparently a teeny weenie little bug. It informs the quilter that email addresses who don't want the newsletter have been deleted when in fact they are still there. I have manually deleted the names I can remember by typing in my own email address and hitting save. (I'll be getting quite a few copies of this newsletter myself, so I know how you feel.)

Therefore, if you are...
a) receiving this newsletter and don't want to
b) are receiving multiple copies and just want one
c) just need someone to talk to (no, scratch that)
...please email me, tell me what the problem is and I will attempt get it right by the next mailing, as long as PowerMail emails me back with some bug spray. Again, I'm sorry for the inconvenience. Really.

CHANGING SEASONS
Spring has finally reached Michigan. We've had almost two weeks of non-stop sunshine, which is almost unheard of in these parts. Mornings are crisp, and afternoons are downright balmy with the mercury reaching mid-70s. This of course signals a changing of the seasons and, more importantly, a changing of the sheets. Before you hit REPLY with that last sentence highlighted and some clever retort typed underneath, I do change my bed linens a tad more frequently than once every six months! This time of year I get out the summer sheets. Unlike the winter sheets that are fuzzy and warm, the summer sheets are cool and crisp.

Going from flannel to percale is always a difficult adjustment, so if you notice that I'm a little cranky it's because of sleep deprivation. It takes me a while to get used to the new sheets.

The warm, fuzzy winter sheets are really my favorite. I'm the cold one. Steve turns the electric mattress pad up to "re-heat pizza," and lets it cook for five or six hours. Then I get to jump into a bed that feels like some warm body just vacated. Nice and cozy. With flannel jammies and socks I'm pretty much planted where I land. Not much moving around. Sandwiched in flannel with several quilts on top, I'm immobile. I don't get out of bed unless I hear the smoke detector. Turning over requires great effort and then I run the risk of electrocution as the static electricity built up by my attempted gyrations reaches dangerous levels.

Summer requires a lighter quilt and the smooth slippery sheets---the 200 thread count cotton percales with the slick finish. They fairly crackle as you flap them out on the bed. Me and my nighties glide right over them. All I have to do it THINK about turning over and I'm there. I am a regular whirling dervish in summer sheets.

Unfortunately, I have fallen out of bed twice over the years, both times at the beginning of the summer sheet season when I thought I was still entombed in flannel and attempted to turn over. The speed at which I was able to spin flipped me right out of bed. I ricocheted off the wall and landed padded-side-down on the floor. Thank goodness I tossed the clothes I was wearing the day before onto a nice heap on the floor to break my fall.

So, until I get totally used to the new sensation of movement, I sleep lightly. I have to wake up fully before turning over. (I got more sleep when Jennie was an infant.) Added to this inconvenience is the fact that we now sleep with the window open. The birds get up entirely too early. They're up before the sun's all the way showing. And we have a ton of birds, all of whom must be living in the eaves under the bedroom window. Except the woodpecker who sounds like he's under the bed.

HOUSE UPDATE
Mother and I bought furniture for her new digs and I must say we think it looks terrific. This opinion is not shared by all members of the household, one of whom actually asked if we were KIDDING when he found us nestled in the grouping at the furniture store.

We think it looks incredibly wonderful in a residence occupied by an eccentric fiber artist who just celebrated her 76th birthday. It reminds me of furniture you see in cartoons---big, overstuffed with attractive humps and bumps. The couch is pink, the chaise is bright yellow, and the chair and ottoman is a large floral print that goes quite well with the other two pieces. It's kind of retro-20s and it made us both smile. OK, we giggled.

You can take a look at the new addition on the web page now. Go to http://quilt.com/Artists/AmiSimms/UnderConstruction.html or just click Ami's Construction Project from my web site (http://www.quilt.com/amisimms). You'll be able to see pictures of the porthole laundry chute, assorted pictures of the furniture, and other stupid things.

IDIOTIC DECORATING IDEAS
The moderately attractive glass table lamp I bought for $18 at the Lazy Boy shop 6 years ago is now reborn. I ripped off the padding on the bottom, and took the bottom off the lamp by unscrewing the bolt at the bottom. and in a few minutes I was able to gain access to the inside of the lamp. It wasn't any harder than changing the blade on my rotary cutter. You just have to remember to put all the pieces back where you found them in the reverse order of how you took them off. Which is why I had to buy a new rotary cutter the first 12 times I attempted to change the blade. Never mind.

Once I got the bottom off, I filled it with tangled thread! Before fabric goes down the chute to be washed, I cut a very small triangle off each corner. (I should save the triangles, but I don't.) This minimizes fraying in the wash, and when things do get stringy and tangled, they just yank right off. I have a five gallon clear plastic peanut butter jar on the top of my dryer and all the strings and tangled threads I yank off the fabric as it goes from the washer to the dryer go into the jar. (It was such a shame to throw them out, besides they looked so pretty in the jar.) I have a glass cookie jar on my ironing table and strings I cut off as I iron go in the cookie jar. I've been saving thread tangles for years. Never knew what for. Now I do! I had enough strings and thread tangles to fill the lamp about half-way. You can see the lamp on the web page, too. Same place.

Before you stuff your lamp with thread, take it to a lamp store. They can show you how to unscrew the base, can cut you a replacement pad thing for the bottom, and THEY CAN CHECK TO BE SURE THE LAMP IS THE KIND YOU CAN STUFF FLAMMABLE THREAD INTO. I don't think this will work with all lamps. PLEASE MAKE SURE THIS WILL WORK WITH YOUR LAMP BEFORE YOU FILL IT WITH THREAD. If it's the wrong kind of lamp, it could catch fire and you could lose your entire tangled thread collection. Or worse!

INTERESTED IN THE TRIP OF A LIFETIME?
Louise Young is leading two trips this January and February to Panama. These trips are for quilters who want to meet the Kuna Indians and learn about their culture. The Kuna live on the San Blas Islands off the northern coast of Panama's mainland. They are the makers of the MOLA, the intricate reverse applique panels so prized by needleworkers around the world.

Louise keeps her groups small, usually only a dozen get to go. After an introduction to Kuna culture and a sewing lesson in Panama City we fly to one of the islands and stay near the Kuna village. Accommodations can be spartan (i.e. showers and toilets may be in another building) but the people are enthusiastic about meeting American needleworkers, the land is lush and beautiful (I've seen pictures from past trips) and the chance to meet these fascinating people is the opportunity of a lifetime.

Louise has been leading trips to the islands of Panama since 1993. She contracts directly with agencies in Panama for flights within the country and transportation to these out-of-the-way places to keep the price as low as possible. You will need to secure your own travel arrangements to Panama City.

This trip isn't for everyone, but it you're up for an adventure in a part of the world few tourists get to visit, come and join us. My mother and I are planning on going. If you'd like more information, please email and I'll send you information about the trip when brochures are available in about a month.

SUMMER SPECIALS
Discounts on Photos-To-Fabric® transfer paper and Fun Photo-Quilts & Crafts that were to expire at the end of April were extended to June 15, 1999. If you missed your chance to order at these great prices don't wait. The prices will go back up come the middle of next month.

I've also put together some special promotions for the summer.

JUNE: 6 FREE coasters ready to transfer with every package of Photos-To-Fabric® transfer paper, plus directions! A $5.95 value!

JULY: FREE copy of How NOT To Make A Prize-Winning Quilt with every order! An $8.95 value!

AUGUST: FREE shipping with any order! (US orders only. Foreign orders deduct $3.50 from shipping costs.)

Orders must be received during the specified month in order to qualify. Summer Specials can not be combined with any other offers.

To order off the web, please go to http://quilt.com/Artists/AmiSimms/MailOrderFormV2.html or click on Order Form from the top page of my web site (http://quilt.com/amisimms).

FUNNY SIGN
Supposedly a supervisor had placed a sign directly above the sink in a restroom at IBM's Watson Center. It had a single word on it:

"THINK!"

The next day, when he went to the restroom, he looked at the sign and right below, immediately above the soap dispenser, someone had carefully lettered another sign which read:

"THOAP!"

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Thanks for reading this month's issue of the AfterChat.
Happy Quilting,
Ami Simms
1-800-278-4824
http://quilt.com/amisimms

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