Ami's AfterChat NewsletterMay 1997Please Note: This newsletter was originally sent on May 19, 1997. It may not have improved with age. Information may be outdated and irrelevant, not to mention useless. It is here only for your enjoyment.
NEXT CHAT
I'LL BE A GUEST ON #QUILTCHAT Everyone is invited to the chat. If you'd like to come you need to have a mIRC program and an internet provider. #QuiltChat has made it easy and everything you need to join them can be found at their web site: http://www.KATHKWILTS.com If you can find them, you can learn what you need to do. Those of you on AOL can also join in. I highly recommend the easy instructions by CalicoBlue for AOLers to join. There's a button to click for those too! If you're on AOL and have a Mac, I think you're out of luck. BUT, everybody else can get there. Do take a few minutes and download the program you need and pop your head in the chat room once or twice before the 29th. It's a whole different world! See you there.
DOUBLE WEDDING RING UPDATE
TEACHING STUFF And, I just breezed in from Tulsa, Oklahoma last night after spending three days with the Green Country Quilters Guild. What a blast! Such a telented and friendly group. Many thanks to both groups for inviting me to come and teach for them.
ULTIMATE SHOPPING SPREE When I started writing they were the first (and sometimes only) bookstore that would carry my books. Whenever I went there I stopped to make sure they were straight on the shelf. They recently made an "Ami Simms" shelf for my books, with my name on it and everything. Somehow, I always gravitated to that shelf. It was kind of like seeing your quilt at a quilt show and hanging around just within earshot to listen to what people were saying about it. They'd even let me "pretend" to special order one of my own books just so I could check the publisher's information on the computer. Hey, we get our thrills where we can. Several months ago a chain bookstore opened up right across the street from Young & Welshans. Huge place. Six cash registers all in a row. Then about two weeks ago Young & Welshans went out of business. I don't care how nice the new big chain bookstore is, it won't be the same. Steve went to the big sale. Everything was 30% off the first day and would go down each day from there. By the end it was all the books you could carry for $10. I hadn't heard about the sale and so when he came back with the news, I jumped in the car and drove over. I have this thing for store fixtures. Whereas I can usually control myself buying fabric, sturdy metal thing-a-ma- bobs, wheeled whatevers, carts, table, trays, old desks......I just can't say NO. And the thought of taking a little bit of Young & Welshans home with me? Well that was more than I could resist! I've bought swivel chairs with only 3 legs (great price) and when a nursing home was having a fixture sale (you just gotta know the right people) I bought six huge industrial wheeled laundry baskets. (Great Christmas gifts.) I once bought TWO 12 foot metal things with wheels (from two different stores!) that goes from the back of a semi-truck to someplace else. It's an un-loading thing. I tried to use it one time when we hauled a shipment of books in the basement window. We balanced it on an old desk and sent a 24-pound case of Every Trick In The Book down from the window. I nearly broke my arm trying to catch it. To make a long story short, I attempted to buy anything that wasn't nailed down. I wanted the 9 foot bookcases, but they were already sold when I got there. I had to settle for the 72" x 30" oak tables. I must have been deranged. I bought four of them. (Took two friends and borrowed a truck to haul them home and the three of us couldn't even lift them to get them to the truck. Had to do some serious bartering with a stronger friend and another truck.) Then they had these great 6 foot folding tables with wheels. I love wheels. Bought two 6-footers and one 8-footer that I thought was a 6-footer until I tried to heave it into the van and couldn't close the door. I got padded envelopes, 2 scales, a vacuum cleaner, label dispenser, one of those plastic thingies you roll your chair over to save your carpet, and a desk that is two inches bigger than the door to the room I wanted to put it in. What a deal. And every time I use one of those things, I shall think of Young & Welshans, and I'll feel better. And this winter, every time I park my car outside in the snow instead of inside in the garage where all the tables and desks are living because I have no room in my house, I shall feel almost as good.
NEW PHONES One of the miscellaneous treasures I found at the fixture sale at Young & Welshans were two sets of headphones. They have an ear piece and a microphone, and a thing that goes over your head. And a long cord. Well, we've got those now. Way cool. I can type and talk, or quilt and talk, or just talk, all without having to hold the telephone receiver next to my ear. They plug right into the phone, like the ones telemarketers wear. I think Madonna has one. I'm typing with mine on right now. If someone were to call, I could keep typing and talk. Except that they could probably hear the keys clicking and that might be rude. But I COULD if I wanted to. This was a smart buy too. Except for the fact that while the sound quality is improved, and my posture is better, and my neck doesn't hurt as much, they're a little hard to get used to. First of all, you can't eat with them on. I noticed this right off when I attempted to pop a twinkie in my mouth and impaled it on the microphone. I can only get small stuff in if I remember to insert it at an angle under the microphone, otherwise I knock the headset right off my noggin. Finger licking is really hard to do too since the microphone has to sit just out of lip reach. Stick a finger in your mouth and it knocks everything cock- eyed. I had no idea how often, during the course of the day, that I lick my fingers. Eating, page-turning, fabric-adjusting, licking envelopes---these all require licking. Amazing. Thanks to my new headset I am learning to curb this annoying habit. The cord is a bit irritating too. I feel like I'm on a leash. A couple steps to the left or right of the phone and I'm at my limit. It's shorter if I have the wire accidentally caught in the drawer of the filing cabinet. Sometimes I forget I have the silly thing on, jump up to go get something and get a rude reminder as it flies off my head taking my right ear with it. I'm still in training.
IS IT ME OR WHAT? During AOL's growing pains my email has also developed another problem. It turns colors. I'll get an email from somebody in regular black and white, like the old days before AOL got snazzy and let us play with the type size and ink and paper color. Then, when I go to respond, the background turns colors. I'm sure I look mighty clever sending colorized emails, but hey, I have nothing to do with it. Sometimes it's green, sometimes a pale pink. I just don't know why. About every 10th time I hit REPLY the email background comes up pitch black. Can't read a thing. Then I have to fix it. Is it just me? I'm getting annoyed.
WORST QUILT IN THE WORLD CONTEST Or, take a quick peek now and cast your ballot for this year's Viewer's Choice once or twice more. You've got until June 30 to vote.
TALK ABOUT DEDICATION
MORE ON THE QUILTING STAMP
Citizen's Stamp Advisory Committee I would also add to that list a print-out of your 16 favorite web pages and all their links. That will either get their attention or give them a hernia lifting the envelope. Last time I mentioned this in the newsletter I said to mail directly to the USPS, but evidently AQS doesn't mind if you mail directly to them. Whatever. Just mail something so when the stamp comes out you'll have been a part of it. Please ask them to make it a peel and stick stamp as I can no longer lick anything.
OPRAH UPDATE
WEB SITE OF THE MONTH
QUILTER'S TRIP TO ITALY
NOT-SO-BRIGHT LARRY (a funny) One day, Larry, had a bright idea. He decided to fly. He went to the local Army-Navy surplus store and purchased 45 weather balloons and several tanks of helium. The weather balloons, when fully inflated, would measure more than four feet across. Back home, Larry securely strapped the balloons to his sturdy lawn chair. He anchored the chair to the bumper of his jeep and inflated the balloons with the helium. He climbed on for a test while it was still only a few feet above the ground. Satisfied it would work, Larry packed several sandwiches and a six-pack of Miller Lite, loaded his pellet gun-- figuring he could pop a few balloons when it was time to descend-- and went back to the floating lawn chair. He tied himself in along with his pellet gun and provisions. Larry's plan was to lazily float up to a height of about 30 feet above his back yard after severing the anchor and in a few hours come back down. Things didn't quite work out that way.. When he cut the cord anchoring the lawn chair to his jeep, he didn't float lazily up to 30 or so feet. Instead he streaked into the LA sky as if shot from a cannon. He didn't level off at 30 feet, nor did he level off at 100 feet. After climbing and climbing, he leveled off at 11,000 feet. At that height he couldn't risk shooting any of the balloons, lest he unbalance the load and really find himself in trouble. So he stayed there, drifting, cold and frightened, for more than 14 hours. Then things got worse. He found himself drifting into the primary approach corridor of Los Angeles International Airport. A United pilot first spotted Larry. He radioed the tower and described passing a guy in a lawn chair with a gun. Radar confirmed the existence of an object floating 11,000 feet above the airport. LAX emergency procedures swung into full alert and a helicopter was dispatched to investigate. LAX is right on the ocean. Night was falling and an offshore breeze began to flow outward. It carried Larry out to sea with the helicopter in hot pursuit. Several miles out, the helicopter caught up with Larry. Once the crew determined that Larry was not dangerous, they attempted to close in for a rescue but the draft from the blades pushed Larry away whenever they neared. Finally, the helicopter ascended to a position several hundred feet above Larry and lowered a rescue line. Larry snagged the line and was hauled back to shore. The difficult maneuver was flawlessly executed by the helicopter crew. As soon as Larry was hauled to earth, he was arrested by waiting members of the LAPD for violating LAX airspace. As he was led away in handcuffs, a reporter dispatched to cover the daring rescue asked why he had done it. Larry stopped, turned and replied nonchalantly, "A man can't just sit around." I hope the rest of your day goes better than Larry's did.
P L E A S E RELEASE, ME LET ME GO.... Also, if you ever change screen names or internet providers, let me know as soon as possible, including both your old screen name and your new one. This list of over 1400 quilters is managed by hand, by me. Bad addresses can stop an entire mailing and it drives me crazy!
Happy Quilting, Remember the date at the beginning of this newsletter? It's an old one. To receive a new one the next time Ami writes one, please get on the mailing list |