Ami's AfterChat Newsletter

March 1997

ON THE ROAD
A thousand thanks to TinyStitch and her husband for the loan of their laptop for February's chat from the Mid-Atlantic Quilt Festival. The plan was to set up in the lobby of the hotel and entice passerbys on their way to the Fashion Show and the Wearable Arts exhibits to take a peek at a live chat. About 8:45pm the plan was ditched when the Mancuso brothers (they run the show) realized that our modem was the reason they weren't getting any phone calls. Since phone calls mean registrations......well, we were unplugged post haste.

On to plan B. Laptop in hand, wires trailing behind us, we scurried through the hotel lobby, in search of one of those ultra-modern pay phones with a "data port" near a wall outlet. No such luck. Looking behind tables and chairs we scanned the baseboards for stray phone jacks as we developed Plan C. No luck there either. At the front desk we put ourselves at the mercy of the hotel staff. Jessica took pity on the three techno nerd-ettes tangled in the laptop cords and plugs and GAVE us a room to use for 2 hours. As in FREE. Needless-to-say, should you ever find yourself in need of extremely accommodating accommodations in Williamsburg, Virginia, try the Williamsburg Lodge. (For reservations, call 1-800-447-8679 and ask for Jessica.)

NEXT CHAT
This month, I'll be hosting the chat from home. For all you AOL-ers, I'm hearing good things about connect time being shorter and web browsing being faster. Let's hope things work in our favor for the next chat which will be March 27, 1997 at 9 pm EST. Protocol for the first 45 minutes, free-for-all for the rest of the time.

WELCOME
This AfterChat Newsletter now reaches over 900 e-mail boxes around the world. Welcome to all the newcomers and well as the old timers. For those receiving this for the first time, please don't be put off by references to past activities. It's kind of hard not to do that and have any continuity. If you're curious about past issues, I'll be putting those up on my web page any time now. Use this address and click on the appropriate button: http://quilt.com/amisimms.

PILLOW TALK
A case in point is this next item. Just wanted to let everyone know that I made another delivery of pillows to Safe House this week. Two full cases (48 pillows in all) covered with your stunning pillowcases were given on your behalf. They were so appreciative. I still have 3 more cases eating space in my living room (had to buy more to go with all the pillowcases you guys made!) so I shall be covering those shortly and delivering those too. Just for curious, would you want to make this a yearlong project? Or, to put it another way, do any of you have any more pillowcases in you?

NEW BOOK
I just got my copy of David Small's Quilt Foundation: Sewing On The Lines (Small Expressions, 1997) and if you want an instruction book that's actually fun to read, I suggest you get a hold of a copy. David is a hoot. Here's his definition of FABRIC: "1. good quality 100% cotton broadcloth, easy to sew with, washes and wears well, colorfast, takes a crease well. 2. a material to be collected, hoarded, stashed, hidden from unknowing spouse. 3. once amassed, it is usually referred to as a quilt top or UFO (unfinished object.)" My other favorite line is under an illustration showing two blocks. The one on the left has an obvious flaw, the one on the right is perfect. He writes, "Which block looks best to you? I hope you answer, 'The one on the right!' If not, never mind......" There are other fun lines, but I don't want to spoil it for you. Write to David at quilter@ici.net or check out his web page at: http://www.ici.net/cust_pages/quilter.

SPEAKING OF PLUGS
I've heard that Oprah has shown photo-transfer quilts at least two times in the last couple of months. I think it's only fair that she invite me to go on her show. Don't you? I knew you would. Here's what I want to do, and you can help.

First I'm going to make a little mini quilt for her. Sort of something to get her attention. I've started collecting photographs of her from magazines, but my stash is kind of small, and I really need to get moving on this. If you want to help me out, dig out some of your old magazines and cut out any pictures of Oprah, her boyfriend (I forgot his name) her dogs, anything Oprah- related. Try not to fold the pictures if you can help it. Send them to me at this address: Ami Simms/4206 Sheraton Drive/Flint, MI 48532. Send me only the ones you don't want back. I'll photo-transfer them and get the quilt going. We're talking fast quilt. I need the photos by Friday, the 21st. OK, the 22nd. I'm flexible. I'm going to make the quilt over the week-end and ship it to her on Monday.

Second, I need to "prime the pump." I have to convince the producers that there is a need for another photo-transfer segment on Oprah. And, of course, I need to convince them that I'm the one who should do it. Are you with me? (Yes, I am a glutton for punishment. Perpetually sweaty palms, insomnia, giant hives, spastic colon, and a small nervous twitch are all symptoms of stress that I want to re-live should I ever get lucky enough to go on television again.) Leaving sanity behind, I'm envisioning a multi-pronged attack here. Care to help?

Send Oprah e-mail. She has two addresses. Hit both of them:
oprah@oprahwinfrey.com
and
oprah@aol.com
Tell her you want to see more photo-transfer quilts. They're cool. You want to make a few yourself. You think they should get that Simms woman on the show so everybody can learn how to do it. She's got that book, she's done television before.....I leave it in your hands. Don't worry Oprah won't read it; some poor overworked underling with an auto-responder will scan it for half a second and then delete it. So you should probably send one a day for a week---under each of your screen names. Start right away. A small avalanche of e-mail should do it. They need to see a trend. Trends are good. Producers pay attention to trends.

Send Oprah a letter via snail mail. Same thing as the e-mail. Short and sweet. Producers don't have time to read. They just have time to notice trends. Avalanches and trends. Stick in a picture of one of your photo- transfer quilts if you've made one. Or send her a photo-transfer. Write your entire letter on a piece of fabric. Be creative. The idea is to stand out from the crowd, or failing that, to BE the crowd. Send lots of letters.

You will have to sign your name to these letters, otherwise the producers will think my mother is writing Them all. And she will be. Just kidding. (Mom, don't pay attention to that last part. Keep writing. And don't forget to hold the pen a different way each time.)

Here's the address. Actually there are three of them. And I bet you can figure out what's coming next. Yup, you got it. As long as you're writing one letter, hit the print button two more times...... Oprah's just lucky I don't know her fax number.

Harpo Productions
PO Box 909715
Chicago, IL 60690

Harpo Studios, Inc.
1058 W. Washington Blvd.
Chicago, IL 60607

Harpo, Inc.
110 N. Carpenter
Chicago, IL 60607

Third, drop hints on Oprahs' bulletin boards if you're on AOL. Keyword: Oprah. They have a very nice web site, by the way.

Thanks for your help and if I get on the show I'll say your name on TV and thank you personally for writing Oprah the pivitiol letter than convinced her to invite me on the show. Right before they put me in that funny white jacket with the long sleeves that buckle in the back and haul me off the set.

SPEAKING OF PHOTO-TRANSFERS
Many thanks to the group of paper testers who are working hard testing a new kind of photo-transfer paper for me. The new paper is made for color printers, the kind attached to your computer. Some of the results have already come in and I'll let you know all the findings as soon as they're all in.

AMI'S TRAVELS
I'll be on the road again this week visiting the Log Cabin Quilters in Kalamazoo, Michigan. I went to college in Kalamazoo, so it's an extra special trip for me. I'll also be at the Grand Opening of the Grand Quilt Company in Grand Rapids, Michigan on March 20 from 10 to 12. (That's a lot of GRANDS isn't it?) If you can stop by the Eastbrook Mall, come say 'hi.'

A LITTLE GIGGLE
I am the fortunate recipient of e-mail funnies almost every day. I'm on several people's "forward" lists and I appreciate the chuckles. I thought I'd share this one with you even though the premise is a little shaky.

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again. The boy asked his father, "What is this, Father?" The father responded "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."

While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed an old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights w/numbers above the walls light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction. The walls opened up again and a beautiful 24 year old woman stepped out.

The father said to his son, "Go get your Mother."

THE SMALL PRINT
As always you may forward this e-mail to whomever you wish. If they would like to receive their own copy, just have them write to me and request to be put on the newsletter mailing list. If you should ever want to be removed from the list, all you have to do is ask.

Happy quilting,

Ami Simms
(amisimms@aol.com)
(http://quilt.com/amisimms)

Remember the date at the beginning of this newsletter? It's an old one. To receive a new one the next time Ami writes one, please get on the mailing list