Welcome
About Mallery Press
Ami Simms
Ami's Mommy's Fabric
Puppy
Picture Play Quilts
Photo-Quilting
Books
Order On-Line
Teaching Schedule
Workshops
& Lectures
Ami's Quilts
Ami's Adventures
FREE Newsletter
Live Chat
Worst Quilt Contest
Guest Book
Special Auctions
Links
E-Mail Ami

Ami's AfterChat Newsletter

July 1999


Please Note: This newsletter was originally sent on July 15, 1999. It may not have improved with age. Information may be outdated and irrelevant, not to mention useless. It is here only for your enjoyment.


WELCOME
Thanks for joining me this month. Glad to have you here. Past issues are at the web site http://quilt.com/amisimms>; future issues are in my head.

The tip for the day is something I just learned. If you right click on your mouse on a URL (like the one hyperlinked above) you can select "open in New window." Or just hit N after your right click. That means you don't exit out of your current window, which makes it oh so much easier to see it again. Just shrink or exit the new window, and there is the old one! No time wasted! It won't work in the newsletter hyperlinks, so wait until you start surfing the web to try it out. Way fun!


OUR LITTLE MEETING
See you in the AOL Chat Room a week from today for our monthly chat. That's July 22 from 9-10pm EST. Keyword: quilters. Then follow the prompts.


YOU'D THINK THEY'D KNOW BY NOW
I've been writing this newsletter for about (gasp!) two years now. That's been the easy part. Actually getting it to you, well..... I still haven't gotten a 100% on that one, what with screwy mailing programs and my own stupidity. Here's a new one for you. I was merrily sending out last month's newsletter and about half way through, AOL bounced me off line! The error message wasn't like any I've ever gotten before. All it said was to call an 800 number, which I promptly did. I was told by a very pleasant woman that my password was no longer valid. AOL had pulled my ticket for SPAMMING!

I was so embarrassed. Imagine AOL lumping ME in the same pile as XXX Porno-mail senders, or Get-Rich-Quick Pyramid Schemers, or Work-At-Home/Restaurant Spy/Book Reader Scammers, or the worst of the worst: senders of E-MAIL CHAIN LETTERS!

Evidently AOL's super computers are alerted to email that is sent to more than 50 addresses. Multiple emails all with the same amount of text send up a red flag. If the micro chip in charge isn't picking its nose at the time, then it takes a big electronic ax to whomever is sending out the offending mail.

I explained to the nice lady that the people who get this newsletter ASKED FOR IT and I was going to GIVE IT TO THEM. I was then put on a special list that would allow me to SPAM all of you! The catch was that while AOL could pull my plug in a matter of nano-seconds, it couldn't reinstate my SPAMMING privileges for 72 hours. There's progress for you.

I asked whatever in the world was I supposed to do now? My newsletter couldn't wait 72 hours to be delivered. There was time sensitive material in there! (Remember the question about millennium quilts?!) "Well," she said, "you could send them out 50 addresses at a time."

So I did. Trouble was, I didn't know if the ones that already went out really went out, if you know what I mean. Maybe AOL sucked them all back after they pulled my plug. So I consulted my tea leaves and the random display of threads, pins, and fabric scraps on the carpet, and guessed at the point in the list where I thought I was safe. Then I sent out the newsletter, 50 names at a pop. With a list of approximately 4200 names, that took a while. I got bored, confused, slightly comatose, and I may have momentarily forgotten if I was on letter B or R. (They look so much alike.) This is why some of you got duplicate mailings. (Sorry.)


BUGS
Well evidently I'm not alone. I heard from hundreds of you who don't like the little beasties either. And not ONE mocked my MPT&F Extermination Method (Multiple Paper Towel & Flush). I was informed that the jumping spiders I wrote about are really called camel crickets a mutation of the kangaroo/tarantula cross experiment. (I hope she was pulling my leg.) I also heard about various other vermin and pests that could inhabit my home, and thank you very much I'll keep the ones I have.

Another reader suggested that I vacuum the bugs off the wall instead of drowning them with bug spray. So I tried it. Works great for the ones near the bottom of the wall, but if they're above my head I just can't do it. My upright is just too heavy to lift that high.

I also heard from a reader about a vacuum specifically made for bugs. Now that's a great idea. I have contacted the company and will report back in the next newsletter.


MILLENNIUM QUILTS & OTHER THINGS REVISITED
I got all sorts of wonderful feedback from quilters all over the country making millennium quilts. Their projects are as varied as the number of people who wrote to me. Elaine Thieriault from Mississauga, Canada suggested a wonderful idea for a Y2K quilt. She's going to take her millennium fabric and incorporate photos highlighting her four-year-old daughter's activities throughout the year. She plans to take a picture of her on January 1, 2000 and December 31, 2000 so it won't be finished "in time" but will provide a great memory for the both of them. For everybody working on a millennium quilt, give yourself a pat on the back.

For those of us who haven't started our millennium quilts and need ANOTHER quilting project in the works, and for those who are knee-deep into charm squares, let me suggest a very helpful book---Rachel K. Ivey's Y2K Quilts: A Quilter's Guide to the New Millennium. I don't know when I've seen more information packed into 16 pages. It has everything you'd want to know from what a "squishy" is (an envelope with Y2K blocks inside) to how many pieces of fabric to cut, to the best way to organize everything, to layout strategies. You won't believe all the web sites listed for patterns and swaps! Rachel's booklets are $5 plus $1 postage. Email Rachel at HPQC@aol.com for more information or visit her web site http://members.aol.com/hpqc/y2k.htm > or just send her the $6 (or $6.42 if you live in Alabama) and ask for an autographed copy:
Heritage Patchwork Quilting company
122 Shades Crest Road
Hoover, AL 35226

As to the appropriate moment by which to have the quilts finished, some of you were absolutely adamant that they needed to be completed by 12-31-99 (preferably at the stroke of midnight) and others of you didn't give a rip---both figuratively AND literally! They could be completed whenever they got done. Some readers reminded me that the REAL millennium didn't start until NEXT year, and Pepper Cory, that clever soul, told me that the Mayan calendar allowed until 2008 for the new millennium! One of my favorite comments was: "I'm working on a Y2K quilt. (I can't spell millenium)."

Speaking of spelling, people who got the Panama trip information read about the San Bias Islands. Those are the San BLAS Islands. At least my spell-checker knows Quiltspeak! And, my house is not under conSTRICtion either. It's under conSTRUCtion, thank you very much. And so far as I can tell were one piece of base molding and a screen door away from completion.


WEB PAGE UPDATES
Information on the Mola collecting trip to Panama is on the web site as are a gob of new photo-quilts to look at http://quilt.com/amisimms. And, don't forget to take a look at my stuff on EBAY. Currently there books, leftover quilt blocks, a sarong I picked up in Bangkok last year, and a huge stuffed animal. To find my stuff on Ebay, click:

thtp://cgi3.ebay. com/aw-cgi/eBayISAPI.dll?MfcISAPICommand=ViewListedItems&userid=amisimms@aol.c om&include=0&since=-1&sort=2&rows=25


STAR WARS
Thanks to the many readers who reminded what the guy's name was in Star Wars. I already forgot. NO, don't tell me again. I don't need to know. My mind is already filled with more useless information that pushes out the stuff I NEED to remember out through my ears. Like my phone number. But, you might be interested in the Star Wars Name Recipe thunk up by I don't know who, but passed along to me by Renan Uena (aka Ann Rennier).

To get your Star Wars name do the following:

Star Wars First Name
1: Take the first 3 letters of your last name.
2: Add to that, the First 2 Letters of your first name.

Star Wars Last name
1: Take the first 2 letters of your Mothers Maiden Name.
2: Add to that, the first 3 Letters of the name of the town or city you were born in.

My new Star Wars name is Simam Godet. I like Ann's better. What's YOURS?!


RE-RUN
As far as I know, my photo-quilt segment on Simply Quilts will be re-broadcast again on Tuesday, August 17, 1999 at 9:30am. Please check your local listings.


UFO-rphanage
Check this out! Finally a humane way to dispose of unfinished projects.

http://www.mindspring.com/~panin/UFO-rphanage/about_ufo-rphanage.htm


BEST LOGO
So what if the entire web page is in Italian, you want to see a terrific quilting logo? Check out Emanuela and Luca D'Amico's quilt shop page featuring Il Mondo di Pezza, Rome's only quilt shop. http://www.patchwork.it


ANOTHER $5 COUPON
So many of my faithful newsletter readers had such a good time redeeming their coupons last spring for The Kirk Collection, that Nancy and I decided to do it again. Use this as a $5 coupon on your next order of $25 or more at The Kirk Collection. Of course it doesn't last forever. Order by August 15, 1999. Better yet, order today. One per reader. Can't be used in conjunction with any other special offer from The Kirks. If you order on-line just say Ami's $5 coupon in the "Comments" section on the order form. Or you can call 1-800-398-2542 and say "Ami said I get $5 off." The Kirk Collection http://www.kirkcollection.com


GIGGLES This funny was contributed by Stephen W. Flocks and appeared in Readers Digest:

My father's hearing aid occasionally emits a brief high-pitched squeal that can be heard by anyone near him. One day my little niece was sitting on his lap when the device started to beep. Surprised, my niece looked up at him. "Grandpa," she said, "you've got mail."


Have a great day,
Ami Simms
Mallery Press
4206 Sheraton Drive
Flint, Michigan 48532-3557
Phone: 1-800-278-4824
http://www.quilt.com/amisimms

Ami on Ebay <--- yes, click there. It might even work! http://quilt.com/amisimms


Remember the date at the beginning of this newsletter? It's an old one. To receive a new one the next time Ami writes one, please get on the mailing list