Ami's NewsletterJanuary 2000Please Note: This newsletter was originally sent in January, 2000. It may not have improved with age. Information may be outdated and irrelevant, not to mention useless. It is here only for your enjoyment.
WELCOME
YOU'RE INVITED My own dumb question is why I want to spend six days on remote islands in the San Blas archipelago sleeping in grass huts when my idea of camping is a Red Roof Inn. Let's not mention the fact that I'll be on a islands without roads, electricity, or telephones, or that one of the things I'm actually looking forward to is being strapped into a harness so that I can glide, at an altitude that would probably break both legs were I to fall, through the rain forest from tree to tree on a cable which was probably purchased from a condemned ski lift in Switzerland! (The brochure said there would be flush toilets!)
ON THE ROAD AGAIN My plan is to learn as much as I can about reverse applique and to bring back as many Molas as will fit in my 25 pounds of allowable luggage. Apparently we will be flying on airplanes as old as my mother. While there is little worry about space in the overhead bins for carry-ons (there probably aren't any overhead bins) there is some concern about stressing the airplane's rubber bands with excess poundage. Both passengers and baggage will be weighed. Oh joy. Any of you who have ever picked me up at the airport for a teaching job know that I don't travel light, unless you consider a 48" suitcase, wheeled garment bag, 45 pound carry-on, and "purse" that could easily conceal a small pig, "TRAVELING LIGHT." This is going to be quite a challenge for me. Just leaving the hair dryer at home is not going to help much. Most of the room in my back pack is already taken up by the various sun blocks, mosquito repellents, diarrhea medicines, assortment of flashlights, and the bug vacuum. The last item may have to go if I decide to buy the army surplus bug proof hammock I've got my eye on. This baby is a perfect for a week in the rain forest. It's OD green. (Don't worry, I had to ask. It stands for Olive Drab.) It has a bug proof bottom, mosquito netting on the sides and top, draw strings at each end, and a six foot zipper to climb in and out of. It completely encases the sleeper in bug proof splendor, assuming that no bugs manage to get in at the same time as the sleeper enters, in which case it doubles as some hideous kind of torture. With a person inside it looks like a great big, olive drab banana. The salesman told me it's perfect for the tropics as the rain doesn't get trapped inside. It goes right out the bottom instead. Like I'll be sleeping outside. Is he NUTS? I'm going to string it up INSIDE the grass hut where who knows what could fall from the thatched roof and onto me! All this for $41. Or, I could buy 14 feet of mosquito netting and make my own for about $20. What do you think?
THOUGHTS ON THREAD There are two schools of thought on thread. The first is that the thread should be weaker than the fabric to which it is stitched, so that if the quilt is stressed, the stitching will break and the fabric won't tear. This would make it easier to repair the quilt. It also means that the "weaker" thread has a tendency to fray, twist, and then knot. And, if by some miracle, it survives the untangling procedure, it will break a half inch before the end of your line of stitching! The second school of thought teaches that the thread should be stronger than the fabric to which it is stitched. Graduates of this school don't use their quilts as trampolines, and like to use as long a thread as possible to avoid having to stop stitching, end-off, re-thread, and begin again. They live for the present, where the joys of repeatedly drawing thread that behaves through the fabric, stitch after stitch, is a supreme pleasure, far outweighing the "joys" of having to un-sew two inches of beautiful applique just so they can knot-off their thread properly after the wind generated by a swiftly-walking passerby broke it. Individuals under consideration as possible recipients of the finished quilt are thoroughly screened to make sure they will appreciate all the time and energy a hand appliqued quilt demands and treat it properly--- not as a trampoline, beach blanket, or drop cloth. They must also know how to write a decent thank-you note upon receiving the quilt, and on all subsequent anniversaries until their death. Should the quilt pass to future generations who abuse it, the hope is that the maker is dead by then anyway and will be spared the pain of having to repair thread or fabric. A graduate, cum needle, of the second school, I therefore prefer a strong thread that behaves well. I stitch my hand appliqued quilts with Metrosene 100% polyester thread, which I wax. Why this confession always causes my students to suddenly and audibly suck in huge amounts of air, I don't know. It's not like I'm advocating hand appliqued quilts be made of polyester FABRIC and sandwiched around inch and a half thick polyester batting, or made entirely of GINGHAM cut off grain, or backed with colorful print SHEETS from K-mart and TIED them with yarn. (Been there; done that.) Heaven help me, it's OK to use polyester thread on your fine hand work, it fact I recommend it. Honest. I haven't been struck by lightning yet. I also advocate the use of thread that actually matches either the piece to be appliqued or the background. I know this seems strange for someone who claims to be able to teach you how to make an applique stitch where the thread actually disappears, but the matching thread does come in handy if you accidentally goof up. You won't have to un-sew, unless you're totally type "A," in which case you wouldn't be happy unless you found some slight flaw in your work anyway. This all points to my belief that hand applique should look so incredibly good people will think you've been suffering with it for years, when in reality you got excellent results with your first length of thread. (Polyester thread, that is.) Want to know what I use to MACHINE piece? Again, Metrosene 100% polyester thread. You're OK with that, right? For machine piecing however, I don't bother matching thread, I use NEUTRAL thread. This is somewhat confusing to many students who show up to my machine piecing workshops with neutral thread that is WHITE. White is not neutral. (It's, ah.... white!) Black isn't neutral either. Neutral thread doesn't match anything, but can be sewn to just about everything because it doesn't stick out. I'd still use matching thread to piece borders and bindings made from solid fabrics, but for your every day, run-of-the-mill patchwork made from lots of different colored fabrics, there's nothing like neutral. Metrosene color #844 is a great NEUTRAL. So is # 399 and #525. So, there you have it, my thoughts on thread. I held nothing back. Turned out to be a little over the 200 word limit, by about 453 words, so it won't be appearing any time soon in your favorite quilting periodical. The editor will have to find some other "expert" with shorter opinions. After reading this over, I decided to put my thread where my mouth is, which aside from making it really hard to talk, is a good thing. I'm going to GIVE you a spool of NEUTRAL thread. Just order anything off my web page (http://www.mallerypress.com) in the next ten days (that gives you until midnight of January 21th, 2000) and I'll include a free spool of Metrosene 100% polyester thread, in my favorite color, #844, with your order. Order two things? Get two spools. No limit. Such a deal. This offer is limited to on-line orders on the secure order form for credit cards only, and you MUST type "THREAD" in the comment section of the secure on-line order form. Don't forget, if you're ordering books and would like them autographed, just put a note who the book is going to in the comment area also.
HELP ME I know there is a web page for fabric searches by people who can't seem to buy enough the first time, but for the life of me I can't find it. (It's in one of my old newsletters.....) Help in that department would be appreciated too.
EBAY STUFF
BUMPER STICKERS WE'D LIKE TO SEE
1. BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding
ANOTHER FUNNY This joke is from a web site I've recommended before. To subscribe to a free service that will drop off an email filled with clean jokes in your mailbox every single day, visit: http://www.shagmail.com/sub/sub-jokes.html Three older ladies were discussing the trials of getting older. One said, "Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand in front of the refrigerator and can't remember whether I need to put it away or start making a sandwich." The second lady chimed in, "Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can't remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down." The third one responded, "Well, I'm sure glad I don't have that problem, knock on wood." She raps her knuckles on the table, then she, says, "That must be the door, I'll get it."
CLOSING THOUGHT (This insightful quote was shared by Debbie.....) Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will go out and buy expensive fishing equipment, stupid looking clothes, a sports utility vehicle, travel 1,000 miles to the "hottest" fishing hole, and stand waist deep in cold water just so he can outsmart a fish. (Average cost per fish: $395.68)
Hope you have a great quilting day, PS: If you enjoyed this free newsletter, please forward it to a friend. Tell them anyone can sign up to receive it. PPS: Here are the "destructions" for participating in the chat at Quiltropolis.To get there, point your computer in the direction of http://www.quiltropolis.com/chatcenter.htm. The Quiltropolis Chat Center and Conference Room is a web-based chat room. You will need to have a Java-capable browser in order to use it. Most of the newer browsers are Java-enabled, and AOL 3.0 and above should work. Here's how things will go: After the "Conference Room" loads, you'll see a list of chat rooms over on the left. (They all have a # in front of the name.) Find #Ami and double click on it. It will say "Now talking in #Ami" in green and blue letters in the larger screen area. The room you're in (#Ami) will also be highlighted in the list of rooms on the left. That's it. You're in. (To get the area with the typing to be bigger, scroll up to the top and hit the button that says FLOAT. You can then re-size your screen from there if you want to.) If you want to "speak" you'll have select a nickname. (Your first name, your screen name, something easy for me to type.....) Type that into the box that says "Type a nickname to participate." Hit return. That box will then turn into the place you will type your questions to me and a box of little colored squares will appear to the left. To make it easier on your bi-focaled hostess, I'm going to ask you to click on the little red 4 box before you type anything. When you click on the red 4 you will see |4 pop up in the box you were about to type something in. (That's a little stick and a 4.) This will make what YOU type RED. (So I can see it!) Each time you "speak," you'll have to click the little red 4 box before typing. (I will be typing in black.) When you have a question, just "get red" then type "?". Then type out your question in the box, but DO NOT SEND IT. When I am finished with the last person's question, I will call on the next person and if that's YOU, then hit ENTER and your question will pop up on the screen for me to answer. Please wait until I call on you to hit send. I will type something like, "Pam, ga." The ga stands for Go Ahead. (And if your nickname is Pam, you hit send.) I will try my best to call on all the "?" in the order received. Remember that I'm keeping a paper and pencil list of people's nicknames who ask questions while I'm trying to answer other questions, and sometimes I do goof up. Just remind me that I forgot someone. Please only type when you are asked to do so. In a protocol chat we don't interrupt the flow with "Hey SuzieQ, how's ya doin? And, if you just type your question without being called on, I will probably ignore you. But, look on the bright side, I won't instant message you a nasty reminder, nor will I reach my hand through your monitor and grab you by the neck and shake. Don't worry if you goof up. You'll get the hang of this pretty easily. It might be a good idea to come in early. Before 9:00 p.m., there are essentially no rules. You can type what you want, when you want. Beginning at 9:00 p.m. EST, we will all use PROTOCOL. We do this because it's just easier for me to see your questions and get an answer back to you. (The end. Finally.)
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