Ami's NewsletterDecember 1999Please Note: This newsletter was originally sent in December, 1999. It may not have improved with age. Information may be outdated and irrelevant, not to mention useless. It is here only for your enjoyment.
WELCOME
NO CHAT AGAIN!
NEW LOOK The hope was to make the site a little easier to navigate, with these very pretty blue navigation bars. We've also installed a secure online server for on-line ordering with credit cards. To break it in, you may give yourself a Happy Holiday Discount if you place your order by midnight Thursday, December 16, 1999. Orders up to $20 (not including shipping or sales tax) take off 5% Orders from $20.01 to $40.00 (not including shipping or sales tax) take off 10% Orders over $40.01 (not including shipping or sales tax) take off 15% All you have to do to get the discount is put "Happy Holiday Discount" in the comment box at the end of the order form. The discount applies only to on-line orders sent through the secure on-line server, not faxed, mailed, or e-mailed in multiple e-mails like we used to do it. We will take off the appropriate discount when we process your order. I'd also be happy to autograph and inscribe any books you might want to order for Christmas gifts. Just put a note in the comment box so I know to autograph and whose name to put. (Other than my own!) Orders will be processed up until December 24, however I won't be here to autograph after December 16th. If you already have enough books, might I suggest some photo-transfer coasters? They make great stocking stuffers and they're super fast and easy. With the mail the way it is during the holidays, please specify priority mail and order early if you'd like your order to arrive before Christmas.
SPEAKING OF WEB SITES http://www.woodsidecountrystore.com This is just downright beautiful to look at. (And the quilt designs are nice too!) This site offers a special treat for those who like cats. http://www.sandiegozoo.com/special/pandacam/index.html The "Panda Cam" is my new favorite procrastination. I'm tuned in at least 3 times a day to watch live coverage of Hua Mei, the baby panda at the San Diego Zoo. I first visited earlier in the month when I believe I saw a Mama panda licking the head of a baby panda. Or, it may have been an aerial view of a snowman who had fallen into a sewer. It was kind of hard to tell, but the thought of maybe actually seeing such an important event LIVE was enough to keep me tuned in for almost 15 minutes. I went back just last week to look again and they were out of the sewer, actually playing. It was SO CUTE! Incredibly much more interesting. I spent nearly 30 minutes watching them. Now I'm addicted and stop in at least once a day. The live feed is in black and white, which is all you need if you're looking at pandas, I guess. The image is updated every 5 seconds. (Thanks for the tip, Carol.) http://www.unclaimedbaggage.com/home.htm This was a fun site too. Ever wonder where lost and unclaimed baggage goes? After 90 days all the stuff they can't trace back to a passenger winds up Alabama. And it's all for sale! Talk about the strange stuff. How about an entire suit of armor? Toys, designer dresses, shoes, cough syrup, laptops? It's all there. The prices aren't cheap, but it's worth a look. This reminds me of my quest of one day attending the monthly auction at the Mail Recovery Center in Minneapolis. The postal system loses so much stuff it's impractical to sell it item by item. They auction it off by the truck load! Anybody live close by and want to go bid for me? http://memory.loc.gov/ammem/qlthtml/qlthome.html The Library of Congress National Digital Library Program and the American Folklife Center of the Library of Congress have an on-line presentation you might be interested in. It's called "Quilts and Quiltmaking in America, 1978-1996." (thanks to C Trostrud) http://members.tripod.com/~SABLE28/images/xsnow.gif For a little holiday cheer, take a peek at this URL. (thanks to KaanapaIii)
TIME TO RENEW I renew by mail whenever I can. This year, however, it was time for a new picture and I had to go in person. Like the mature and intelligent adult female that I am, I waited until I was having a good hair day. I put on blush and lipstick and enough hair spray to keep my split-ends in place in 40 m.p.h. winds. I looked good. I felt good, and I was not about to be intimidated. And I wasn't. I was shocked. Something must have changed. It was almost fun! All the clerks I remembered from previous visits have been transferred back to the gulag. The carpet was new. The office smelled nice. Most of the lights worked and the people behind the counters were actually friendly! I am happy to report that the state of Michigan has finally switched over to licenses that look more like credit cards instead of glossy paper. They even have digital video cameras and with just a little whining will allow you to pick from a selection of several "proofs" before committing your face to plastic for another 3 years. You can even donate organs on the back! Now it only takes 10 days for the license to arrive by mail. That's progress! The woman working the camera actually smiled at me as we tried to adjust my head to the perfect angle so the flash wouldn't bounce off my glasses and break the camera, and yet keep me from having a double chin in the picture. I took a glorious picture and was ready to leave when she caught me half way out the door with the test. What test? I had forgotten. My heart sank, my blush fell off, and the big, stiff hair I walked in with was now flat around my ears and stuck to my forehead. I had to take a written test to renew my license. Great. And I couldn't do it at the counter, pretending like I was getting tabs for my license plates. No, I had to take the test and a #2 pencil and go sit in the pretend classroom way over at the other end of the room where everybody could stare at me. Sixteen cold, metal folding chairs with flip-up arms that only right-handed people can write on, all facing front. As soon as I sat down I forgot everything I ever knew about driving. Panic took hold. I would have to walk home.
Then I read the test. Pa-LEEZ. Who wrote this thing? Who could FAIL this
thing? They had questions like...
In a construction zone you should:
When entering a freeway you should: OK, so I guessed what to do when making a left turn while hauling a boat, but we don't have a boat and if we ever get one I promise never to turn it. I double checked my answers, drew a smiley face on top, and printed my name carefully in the upper right hand corner, with the date and the time. On the walk back across the room my blush returned and my hair was beginning to inflate again. I triumphantly handed it to the clerk who proceeded to flip it into the waste paper basket! I couldn't believe it. "Don't you want to check then answers?" I blurted. Trying to placate me (she noticed my coiffure receding again) she glanced at one side, yawned, and said, "You passed." (She didn't even LOOK at the back!) I was shocked! I bet I got 100%. I should have gotten a gold star! The lazy thing! At the very least she should have stapled it to something and put it in a manila file folder. Nope, she just chucked it! Disbelieving, I wandered towards the door, periodically looking over my shoulder, waiting for her to call me back to the counter for the recognition I so deserved. Maybe a congratulatory song with clapping and stomping, like the waiters do in restaurants when it's your birthday. Nothing. Having gone through far too many emotions in my 12 minute adventure I decided to go home and take a nap. At least I got a great drivers license picture out of the deal. I should have known better. When it came in the mail 10 days later I learned the woman was a total incompetent. Not only didn't she recognize my superior test-taking abilities, she punched the wrong button on the computer. That certainly was NOT the picture I had OK'd before the test! You can't see the color of my eyes through the reflection on my glasses, I've got a double chin hanging down halfway to my navel, I'm way off to the left, and a big chunk of hair is sticking up! Not only that, but it says STATE OF MICHIGAN across my forehead. What kind of picture is THAT?! I put it right in the washing machine. With bleach.
THE MORE THE MERRIER
ON THE ROAD AGAIN
MISCELLANEOUS
BEST WISHES
Wishing you all good things,
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