How NOT to Make a Prize-Winning Quilt

How NOT to Make a Prize-Winning Quilt

Ami tells all in this hilarious tongue-in-cheek guide to quilting disaster. It's anti-intimidation for quilters, guaranteed to raise your spirits.

Chapters include:

• Don't Worry, It'll Quilt Out
• If Nothing Falls Off You're Doing OK
• If It Doesn't Fit, Pull On It Or Cut It Off
• Don't Mark Quilting Lines With Food
• When Bad Binding Happens To Good People
• If You Can't Applique, Paint
• People With Big Chests Shouldn't Quilt In Small Cars
• If You Want Warmth, Buy An Electric Blanket
• Don't Add Seam Allowance More Than Once
• Only Sissies Machine Quilt
• After 53 Quilts You Can Still Make A Dog

from page 16...

LESSON SIX:

Don't Worry, It'll Quilt Out

My top was perfect. It covered an entire bed and then some. I had even gotten used to the puny size of the star. I drove back to Indiana to show Ida, nearly bursting with self-congratulation.

Somehow during the ride down, my magnificent Lone Star became deformed. I don't know if the radio was too loud or there wasn't enough air in the bag, but when we flapped it out on the bed it had a belly big enough to hide a cat. The rest of the quilt wasn't sitting too flat either.

There was way too much quilt around the outside edge and there seemed to be large pockets of air trapped underneath. No sooner did we burp one side than the air pockets redistributed to another! I was devastated.

Then I heard those immortal words: "Don't worry, it'll quilt out."

© AS 1994